Hi, I’m Coach Jei

Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt, head instructor, and owner of Gentle Human BJJ in beautiful Des Moines, WA. My martial arts journey began with a television, a blockbuster video card, and a VCR. Watching movies like TMNT, Surf Ninjas, BloodSport, Kickboxer, and anything with Bruce Lee was foundational in creating my love for the martial arts and the accompanying way of life. It sounds funny, but I always knew I wanted to be a martial artist.

Like a lot of children, I dealt with bullying that stemmed from a lack of confidence and an inability to stand up for myself because I didn’t quite have the tools. Coming from a single-parent household, money was tight, and so while I managed to participate in a few karate and tae kwon do classes here and there, my formal training in the art would have to wait until 2010.

I still remember the first day I stepped foot in a BJJ academy. It was a small gym, about 900 sq ft or so, filled with men who looked like they were aboard a Navy vessel headed to war. There were no women or children, and to be honest, it wasn’t very welcoming. Nonetheless, after getting my butt kicked, I was in love. Back in 2010, the old school way of learning BJJ was still common, and many gyms did not have beginner classes or youth programs. Once you signed the waiver, you became a nail in a room full of hammers.

Fast forward to 2012, I was now a blue belt and saw a need for a new way of running the jiu-jitsu academy; one that focused on competition, beginners, and children. I left my gym and embarked on an almost 10 yr journey west of I-5 to figure out my “way”. Over the years, I have had many iterations of gyms and have taught 100’s of students. Many of which are still with me today. I have overcome many hardships to pursue this art that I love; from injuries, to living in the gym, and most recently, the COVID-19 pandemic.

I have never given up on myself or my community.

So why Gentle Human?

You know earlier when I told you I was bullied? Well, my initial reason for training BJJ was so that I could learn how to fight. When I was a child, I vowed that when I grew up, I was going to be the baddest mofo this side of the Mississippi. Being in my early 20’s and coming from a life of loss and trauma, I had a lot of pent up anger and all I wanted to do was be combative. Jiu jitsu would have other plans for me though, and it was the hardships that came with striving for the black belt, gym ownership, and leading a community that would subsequently, heal all of that hurt within.

Jiu-jitsu means “gentle art”, and while it is not characteristically gentle, the principles of it very much are. BJJ was tailor made for the smaller individual, who could use principles of leverage, connection, and timing, to: control, dominate, and submit larger opponents. However, this is no overnight task, as it takes years to learn all the small details to make the techniques work. As a personal philosophy, I believe this period of time is necessary for the practitioner to rein in their ego and let go of the many fears, doubts, anger, etc that they may have that could hinder their ability to learn jiu-jitsu and make them a danger to those around them.

In other words, you have to become a gentler human in order to learn the gentle art (at least in my academy). Primarily, we must first become gentler with ourselves in order to push past negative self-talk and the continued failure necessary to learn. Secondly, with our newfound abilities to seriously injure others, we must learn control and restraint. Once an individual has become gentle on the mats, they can then easily apply what they have learned into their lives to even become better humans.

After almost 12 years of training, I have learned that the true value of BJJ is not in the self-defense techniques. If you show up consistently enough, you will learn how to fight. The value lies in it’s ability, if we train with intent, to transform us into the best versions of ourselves and maintain it. At Gentle Human BJJ, we train with that goal in mind everyday, as everyone deserves the art of mastering themselves.